


Total Eclipse Of The Heart

by Reis_Asher



Series: The World's Greatest Love Songs [1]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Scene, Bisexual Johnny Silverhand, Bittersweet, Canon Gay Character, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Gay Pining, Extended Scene, Goodbye Sex, Implied/Referenced Terrorism, Kissing, Love Bites, M/M, Neck Kissing, Penis In Vagina Sex, Quickies, Trans Kerry Eurodyne, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:21:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29154987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reis_Asher/pseuds/Reis_Asher
Summary: Takes place duringLove Like Fire.It's the year 2023, and Johnny Silverhand has played his last gig. About to venture out with Rogue to bring down Arasaka Tower, Kerry stops him in the hallway and they share more than a few kind words...
Relationships: Kerry Eurodyne/Johnny Silverhand
Series: The World's Greatest Love Songs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149056
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Total Eclipse Of The Heart

**Author's Note:**

> The first time I played the game I picked the first option, not realizing it would be as mean as it was. Second playthrough, I picked "see you in the next life" and the sheer Gay Pining Kerry had going on made me Feel Things, oh lawd. So this is an extended version of that scene in which Johnny Does Actually reciprocate Kerry's feelings but never said a word until now, not being good with you know, talking about feelings. Talk about waiting for the last minute, huh Johnny?
> 
> Also: it is cruel and it is sad as it stands alone but I do have plans for more related parts which would Fix-It.
> 
> There's trans Kerry in this, terms used are cunt and hole. 
> 
> I'm a trans dude who likes to write trans fanfics, you can come hang out with me on twitter @landale

Kerry rushed through the backstage halls of the decrepit pit where Samurai had played their final gig. His heart pounded in his chest as he realized he might be too late to say goodbye. Where Johnny was going, there was no way back, and he couldn’t let it end without a word.

Johnny was about to step through the door where Rogue and the others were waiting for him when he finally caught up.

“Johnny, wait!” Johnny thankfully paused in his tracks. Kerry practically ran across the room, grabbing Johnny’s metal arm to stop him from leaving.

“Don’t do this. You can still change your mind.” The pleading in his voice made him feel pathetic, but if pleading was what it took to save Johnny’s life, he’d gladly give up all his dignity. Kneel on the ground, lick Johnny’s shoes… whatever.

But the wheels were already set in motion. The gig was over. The crowd was already rioting outside Arasaka Tower, creating the diversion Johnny needed to get inside and deliver his payload. They were out of time.

“Get over here, man.” Johnny gripped him by the ear. Kerry melted into his touch. He wanted to close his eyes, to savor this caress, but he also wanted to store the memory of Johnny’s face for all time—his smirk, the lines and shape of his perfect form Kerry had pined over on many lonely nights. Imagining their bodies pressed together as he pleasured himself, feeling guilty afterwards for indulging in an obviously unrequited love.

“Fuck this band. Not your crowd, not your noise, do your own thing.” Johnny prodded him in the chest. Kerry suppressed the urge to grab his hand and place it over his heart. The only thing that stopped him was the fear his last memory of Johnny would be tainted with a look of disgust at Kerry’s lack of self-control. He’d seen Johnny’s sneer enough over the years, but he seemed different tonight. Focused. Like he’d found peace in deciding to take this final, decisive act.

Kerry’s true feelings were hard to hide, though. “Bastard… Tsh... Gonna miss you something awful.”

“See ya in the next life, friend.” Johnny turned, and Kerry knew this was it. Once Johnny stepped through that door, he’d belong to his mission and nothing else. He’d go out in a blaze of glory—gone forever, burned up in the fire of his hatred.

Johnny had always thought he was something of a pussy. Johnny’s words, not his. Johnny thought he lacked the courage of his convictions. That someday he’d become a corpo sellout. Maybe he was right. But not tonight. Tonight Kerry Eurodyne had something to say, and he was going to say it, or forever keep his peace.

He placed his hand on Johnny’s shoulder, closing his fingers around it with a grip hard enough to hurt. Before Johnny could fully turn around, Kerry grabbed him by the back of his head, pulling him forward into a crushing kiss. Johnny tasted like ashes and coffee, but he didn’t pull away immediately, like Kerry had imagined. There was no stinging retort of “what the fuck are you doing, Kerry?” Instead Johnny deepened the kiss, forcing his tongue into Kerry’s mouth and taking control. Kerry whimpered, ceding control at once. He’d never wanted to dominate Johnny anyway. He’d only wanted to stoke the fire in Johnny’s blood, and it had worked.

Somewhere in the background, Johnny’s groupies realized they weren’t getting any tonight, and left. The guy on the phone quickly wrapped up his call and made himself scarce. Kerry couldn’t have cared less if they’d stayed. Let them see his wildest fantasies coming true in the back room of some Night City dive club. He wasn’t ashamed of loving Johnny.

The kiss was over too soon, Johnny pulling away. Kerry braced for the inevitable rebuke, but all he caught was a smirk playing across Johnny’s kiss-swollen lips. Kerry was struck and looked away, glancing down. The low backstage lighting caught Johnny’s leather pants in such a way that they revealed his erection straining for freedom. Of course, Johnny was high as fuck, loaded to deal with the pain he’d likely have to endure tonight. Johnny’s arousal wasn’t for Kerry, but how he wanted it to be. Yearned for them to fit together like they’d been made to merge and meld as one. Years of longing made Kerry bold, and he reached forward and fondled Johnny’s erection, cupping the shape of it in his palm. He expected a stinging slap, or worse, Johnny’s gun at his temple. He’d gone too far, way too far, but he knew he had nothing left to lose. When Johnny left tonight, he’d never see him again in this life, and that was too much to bear thinking about.

Johnny gasped. Kerry didn’t stop. One touch and he was addicted. The scent of Johnny’s sweat and arousal was like an aphrodisiac, and Kerry was getting high off of it. Johnny’s nicotine lingered in his mouth, and he wanted to touch and taste all of him.

“Kerry, we can’t, Rogue is waitin’...” Johnny finished up his cigarette and threw it to the ground, crushing it beneath his heel like Kerry’s dreams.

No, he’d come so close. He couldn’t give up now. Not for Arasaka Tower, not for anything. “It won’t take long. Up against the wall. Fuck me like one of your groupies. _Please,_ Johnny.”

“Fuck, Kerry, you deserve better than that.” Johnny shook his head, his hair tumbling in front of his face.

Johnny didn’t resist, though, when Kerry grabbed his arm and led him over to a secluded corner. Kerry backed himself up against the wall behind boxes of audio equipment and got to work on his belt, pulling down his jeans and underwear to reveal his cunt, his t-dick protruding from his dark curls. Something feral seemed to ignite in Johnny’s eyes and he followed suit, his dick popping out of his tight pants as he opened his fly. Kerry’s mouth dried up at the sight of him, his cock as magnificent as rumors suggested and hard for him.

Johnny lifted Kerry up with strong arms, bracing him against the wall. The cold steel fingers on his skin anchored Kerry to reality, reminding him that he was really here, really doing this with Johnny. He spread his legs, wrapping them around Johnny’s waist as Johnny lined himself up and pushed into him.

“Fuck, you’re wet,” Johnny groaned.

“Been thinkin’ about this for a long time,” Kerry confessed. Johnny was huge, but he could take him. The wild look on Johnny’s face would fuel wet dreams for the rest of his life. Johnny captured his lips in a fierce kiss, pushing his tongue inside Kerry’s mouth as he seated himself all the way into his hole. All Kerry could do was give into his intensity, allowing himself to be consumed by the flame of Johnny’s passion as Johnny fucked him into the wall. His thrusts were relentless, and he barely broke his kisses enough for Kerry to breathe.

Kerry didn’t care. If he died here, right now, he would die happy. Johnny Silverhand was fucking him. This handsome, rebellious man was all he’d ever wanted, and he didn’t want to know why Johnny had changed his mind now, of all times. Didn’t want to know if this was a pity fuck or just some way of taking the edge off the fact Johnny was higher than the clouds. Maybe Kerry was taking advantage… but nobody took advantage of Johnny. He didn’t do a damn thing he didn’t want to, and he wasn’t about to change that now. Not for anyone.

Johnny started to work on his throat, sucking on his skin hard enough to leave a mark. God, let him leave a dozen hickeys, so that when he woke tomorrow he’d see that Johnny had really been here and it wasn’t just a dream. Kerry gasped, crying out everytime Johnny thrust him back into the wall. It hurt slightly, but the pleasure was greater, his body turning to jelly as Johnny used him. Let Johnny break every bone in his body. He loved the man so fucking much he no longer cared.

Johnny lifted him away from the wall, bouncing him on his cock like a toy as Kerry clung to him helplessly, both of them smiling like young lovers who’d discovered new pleasure in each other. Grinning like fools who had discovered, at their final hour, that they belonged together after all. Johnny set him back against the wall, and for a moment, their foreheads touched. Both of them were caked with sweat, their fluids mingling as they could merge together like a river flowing into the sea.

With a loud grunt, Johnny came inside him. He twitched involuntarily as he filled Kerry up with his seed, fucking it into him. The look on his face was pure bliss, his eyes rolled back in his head, his sunglasses sitting askew on the crown of his head. One last thrust of his hips was enough to drive Kerry over the edge and he came too, clamping down on Johnny’s dick like he was physically trying to prevent him from pulling out. Johnny held him through his whimpers, never letting him fall. He was tender tonight, raw and honest in a way Kerry had only seen him when he was on stage.

But it had to end. The look on Johnny’s face suggested that it had become too good, and he drew back, easing Kerry down until his feet touched solid ground. His shaking legs didn’t want to support him, and he leaned on a box to hold himself up. Johnny seemed to come to his senses, tucking himself in and zipping up. Kerry was afraid he was going to barrel through the door right there and then, never looking back, and he seized Johnny for one last kiss.

“One for the road,” Kerry whispered. “You’ve spoiled me for all other men.” There was something in Johnny’s eyes he’d never seen, a nameless, beautiful twinkle that spoke of lost time and paths not taken. Kerry knew he shared the same look, that for once in their lives they were writing a song without music, one in which they were perfectly in harmony.

But Johnny’s first love had always been rebellion, and Kerry couldn’t take it from him without destroying the very soul of the man he’d fallen in love with in the first place. He let go of Johnny’s hand, blinking back tears as Johnny’s semen dribbled down his thigh. Johnny slipped his glasses on, hiding his vulnerabilities, and stepped through the door where the chopper was waiting to take him away forever.

* * *

Kerry sat alone in his apartment, watching the news. He’d been far enough away when the nuke exploded to avoid the worst of it, though the news was advising all Night City residents to shelter in place and cover their windows and doors with whatever they had. Kerry used a roll of plastic, half-assedly stapling it to the inside of the window frames.

The scenes on the television were beautiful at the same time they were ugly, a blazing inferno of revolutionary statement and human tragedy. A manifesto painted in blood and fire. Something had gone wrong. The bomb wasn’t supposed to explode above ground. That much he knew. People were dead and dying in the thousands. Flames poured from the shattered remains of Corpo Plaza. Sirens wailed across the city.

Johnny was _gone_.

It had started to rain, heavy droplets like tears that added to his misery. It pelted against the outside of his window as Kerry sat hunched over on his bed. He felt sick, and he wasn’t sure if it was from the radiation or the fact that a piece of him had been ripped clean out with Johnny’s loss.

As much as he loved Johnny, right now he hated him, too. Hated him for pretending at heterosexuality. Hated him for loving and leaving him behind. He despised the fact that he’d used him to set this city ablaze and cause mass human casualties. Deltaed the fuck out and left little ol’ Kerry to clean up the mess.

But he loved him. Oh god, he loved him, with his bones and his muscles and his nerves, which ached like the aftermath of some botched ripperdoc surgery. Johnny’s semen still dribbled out from inside him and he cursed the birth control implant which meant nothing could take. Just for a second before he laughed out loud at the madness and horror of the concept of being pregnant in this fucked up world, in this body, in this wasteland of a life.

The sirens were getting closer. He wasn’t sure if the NCPD or corpo agents would come for him first. Regardless, it was going to hurt. They’d torture him and he’d spill Johnny’s name over and over like a prayer, even as it felt like a betrayal. Not like Johnny had asked him to die a martyr. Quite the opposite, in fact. He’d involved him in his plans as little as possible, and told him to get on with his life.

What life? How did one live a life after Johnny Silverhand? After kisses that seared his skin and love bites that stung like bullet holes in his flesh? He’d died and gone to heaven already, and all that was left here was chaos and death and terror to wade through, the cruelty of watching people besmirch Johnny’s name and knowing they were _right_.

He turned off the news and sat in the dark, grateful to power down his senses for a while. He’d seen too much, heard too much, felt too much for one night. Soared too close to the sun and melted his wings, tumbling down into the fiery pits of Night City.

The sun wasn’t coming up today. The smoke from the fires blotted out the light, the rain like piss in the wind on a raging inferno. Maybe the fallout would kill him. Or the corpo agents would make him disappear. He could only hope. But he knew he would live. Johnny had sentenced him to live as his shadow, so that his image might never fade away. Egotistical prick. If he could go back in time he’d punch him, knock him the fuck out for doing this to him.

Kerry buried his face in his knees and let out a sob. No, he’d do it all the same, a hundred thousand times over, because he loved Johnny. There would be nobody else like him if he lived for a thousand years, and so it was left for Kerry to light the candle and hold vigil, clutching onto a few fading memories like the last light before a total eclipse.


End file.
